FUNNY MOCHI
 |
ARTICLES |
100 reasons why it's great to be a woman
- We can get laid anytime we want.
- We never have to buy our own drinks at the bar.
- We pee sitting down so it's easier to pass out on the toilet
when you're drunk.
- We get out of speeding tickets by crying.
- We get out of speeding tickets by showing a little cleavage
or leg.
- We can sleep our way to the top of the class.
- We get to shop at Victoria's Secret.
- We can marry rich and then not have to work.
- We never have to pay when we go out on dates.
- Men take us on all expense paid trips - all we have to do
is sleep with them
- Men light our cigarettes for us.
- Men hold the door open for us.
- We pout better. (those puppy dog eyes always work!)
- We're cuter.
- We lie better.
- We're better manipulators.
- We always end up sleeping in the bed when we fight with
our other halves - you guys get the couch.
- We always have food in the fridge.
- We don't worry about losing our hair.
- We always get to choose the movie.
- We don't have to mow the lawn.
- We don't have to take out the garbage.
- We don't have to paint the house or walls.
- PMS - yet another excuse to bitch at men.
- Cosmopolitan.
- We can con our way out of anything - not just dig ourselves
deeper into a hole.
- Men unlock our side of the car first - a real bonus when
its cold.
- PMS is a legal defense for murder.
- Men are like tiles, lay 'em right the first time you can
walk all over em forever.
- We can masturbate more in a day than men.
- 2 words - multi orgasmic!
- We don't have to constantly adjust our genitals.
- Sweat is sexy on us.
- We never run out of excuses.
- You guys may get to think about sex 200 times a day, but
we could be having it that often.
- Doggie style - that way we get to watch the game, too.
- We get expensive jewelry as gifts that we NEVER have to
give back.
- We get candy, flowers and jewelry all the time because men
screw up so often.
- We can give "the look" that will make any man want to cower
in the corner.
- Women are cleaner.
- Women have more than one erogenous zone. (in case you guys
didn't know)
- We're better arguers.
- We don't always have to think with our genitals.
- Massage!!!!
- We're better parents.
- We never have to sit home alone on a weekend night.
- There's never a shortage of ready, willing, and able men.
- We're flexible.
- When women get upset, we don't destroy property or hurt
people - we just take it out on the world in general because
we can.
- Menopause - thank heaven we're not capable of having children
after we're 50.
- Menstruation - just another excuse to use so we can say
"no" to sex.
- Men in uniform.
- There is no penis envy.
- We can just roll over and go to sleep after we masturbate
because there's no messy cleanup.
- It generally takes us less to get drunk.
- We have a higher tolerance to pain.
- We often get to cut in line.
- Most women actually look good in short shorts - men DON'T.
- Better tips.
- Women who don't wear underwear are considered sexy and wild,
when men do it, it's rather disgusting.
- We have mastered civilized eating - we don't embarrass our
friends or make loud bodily noises in public.
- Women can go a day without showering or shaving and not
look or smell disgusting - thank heaven for long pants and
perfume!
- We can connive men into doing our homework, writing our
papers or carrying our books anytime we want.
- We don't have excessive amounts of body hair.
- We don't spend 45 minutes on the toilet.
- Men will pay us for sex.
- Smoking the seeds in marijuana doesn't make us sterile.
- We can throw a punch at a man and not get hit in return.
- Men may fantasize about having sex with more than one woman
at a time, but we can have sex with an entire football team
at once if we want.
- Men walk on the side of the sidewalk closest to the road
so that if a car hits us, he gets hurt not us.
- Women sweat less.
- Women smell better.
- When women make their boyfriends mad, we don't have to waste
money on flowers or cards - a blow job and sex fixes all.
- Men are more often serial killers, thieves, rapists and
cheats.
- Women don't get the humor in the three stooges.
- Women have three accessible holes.
- We don't get embarrassed when buying tampons.
- We're better gossips.
- We have better fashion sense.
- We're better shoppers.
- We don't have to make fools out of ourselves to impress
a man.
- Our friends don't pick on us if we aren't sleeping with
anyone.
- Men don't know what our 'girl talk' is all about (and I'm
not gonna tell you)
- We're all sitting on a gold mine - we know it and use it
to our extreme advantage.
- We don't have to drive when on a date.
- An ugly woman can use makeup and get a new hairdo to become
presentable - ugly men are just screwed.
- Women can use the old "that mark on my neck is from a curling
iron burn" line.
- Women know how fake it.
- Women look better naked
- We know that rhythm doesn't only pertain to dancing.
- When women are short, we're petite. When men are short,
they're just short.
- Women do less time for violent crimes.
- Women don't have to worry about not being able to get it
up.
- An oblong vegetable is all we need for a good time any night.
- Women's conversations generally consist of more than just
"uh huh, yep ok then bye"
- Women don't need an excuse to be in a bad mood.
- Women never have to see combat.
- The remote control is not an extension of ourselves.
- Women are sexier.
and the 100th reason its better to be a woman - this one is
definitely worthy of reiteration:
- We can get laid ANYTIME, ANYWHERE, ANY WAY we want it!
|