| FUNNY
MOCHI
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JOKES |
Dumb People
There's always someone out there dumber than you..........
I saw a lady at work today putting a credit card into her floppy
drive and pulling it out very quickly. I inquired as to what she
was doing and she said she was shopping on the Internet, and they
asked for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM "thingy."
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
The Baltimore Police Department, famous for its superior K-9
unit, was somewhat taken aback by a recent incident. Returning
home from work, a woman had been shocked to find her house ransacked
and burglarized. She telephoned the police at once and reported
the crime. The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the channels,
and a K-9 officer patrolling nearby was first on the scene. As
he approached the house with his dog on a leash.
The woman ran out on the porch, clapped a hand to her head and
moaned, "I come home from work to find all my possessions stolen,
I call the police for help, and what do they do? They send a blind
policeman!"..
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
I worked with an individual who plugged his power strip back
into itself and for the life of him could not understand why his
computer would not turn on.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
1st Person: "Do you know anything about this fax-machine?"
2nd Person: "A little. What's wrong?"
1st Person: "Well, I sent a fax, and the recipient called back
to say all she received was a cover-sheet and a blank page. I
tried it again, and the same thing happened."
2nd Person: "How did you load the sheet?"
1st Person: "It's a pretty sensitive memo, and I didn't want anyone
else to read it by accident, so I folded it so only the recipient
would open it and read it."
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car.
"Do you need some help?" I asked. She replied, "I knew I should
have replaced the battery in this remote door unlocker. Now I
can't get into my car. Do you think they (pointing to a distant
convenience store) would have a battery for this?"
"Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm,too?" I asked. "No, just
this remote 'thingy,'" she answered, handing it and the car keys
to me. As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied,
"Why don't you drive over there and check about the batteries...it's
a long walk."
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Tech Support: "What does the screen say now?"
Person: "It says, 'Hit ENTER when ready'."
Tech Support: "Well?"
Person: "How do I know when it's ready?"
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
My friend called his car insurance company to tell them to change
his address from Texas to Vermont. The woman who took the call
asked where Vermont was. As he tried to explain, she interrupted
and said, "Look, I'm not stupid or anything, but what state is
it in?"
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
This person had a broken lamp that he wanted to discard. Unfortunately,
the power cord ran under his refrigerator, making it impossible
to move the lamp while the cord was attached. He decided to cut
the cord, since the lamp was unusable anyway.
He didn't remember to unplug it first, however, and I found
him in the hallway rolling back and forth.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
I was in a car dealership a while ago when a large motorhome
was towed into the garage. The front of the vehicle was in dire
need of repair and the whole thing generally looked like an extra
in "Twister". I asked the manager what had happened. He told me
that the driver had set the cruise control, then went in back
to make a sandwich.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
I called a company and asked to speak to Bob. The person who
answered said, "Bob is on vacation. Would you like to hold?"
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