| FUNNY
MOCHI
 |
JOKES |
Jokes 3
Little Johnny sees his Daddy's car passing the play ground and
go into the woods. Curious, he follows the car and sees Daddy
and Aunt Jane in a "passionate embrace." Little Johnny finds this
so exciting and can barely contain himself as he runs home and
starts to tell his mother excitedly.... "MOMMY MOMMY, IWASATTHEPLAYGROUNDANDDADDYAND.."
Mommy tells him to slow down. She wants to hear the story. So
Little Johnny tells her. "I was at the playground and I saw Daddy's
car go into the woods with Aunt Jane. I went back to look and
he was giving Aunt Jane a big kiss, then he helped her take off
her shirt, then Aunt Jane helped Daddy take his pants off, then
Aunt Jane laid down on the seat, then Daddy.." At this point,
Mommy cut him off and said, "Johnny, this is such an interesting
story, suppose you save the rest of it for supper time. I want
to see the look on Daddy's face when you tell it tonight." At
the dinner table, Mommy asks Little Johnny to tell his story.
Johnny starts his story, describing the car into the woods, the
undressing, laying down on the seat, and....."then Daddy and Aunt
Jane did that same thing Mommy and Uncle Bill used to do when
Daddy was in the army."
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
A married couple went to the hospital to have
their baby delivered. Upon their arrival, the doctor said he had
invented a new machine that would transfer a portion of the mother's
labor pain to the father. The doctor asked if they were willing
to try it out. They were both very much in favor of it.The doctor
set the pain transfer dial to 10% for starters, explaining that
even 10% was probably more than the father had experienced before.
But as the labor progressed, the husband felt fine and asked the
doctor to go ahead and bump it up a notch. The doctor then adjusted
the machine to 20% pain transfer. The husband was still feeling
fine. The doctor checked the husband's blood pressure and was
amazed at how well he was doing. At this they decided to try 50%.
The husband continued to feel quite well. Since it was obviously
helping out his wife considerably, the husband encouraged the
doctor to transfer all the pain to him. The wife delivered a healthy
baby with virtually no pain. She and her husband were ecstatic.
When they got home the mailman was dead on their porch.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
In front of a delicatessen, an art connoisseur
noticed a mangy little kitten lapping up milk from a saucer. The
saucer, he realized with a start, was a rare and precious piece
of pottery.
He strolled into the store and offered two dollars
for the cat. "It's not for sale," said the proprietor.
"Look," said the collector, "that
cat is dirty and undesirable, but I'meccentric. I like cats that
way. I'll raise my offer to ten dollars."
"It's a deal," said the proprietor,
and pocketed the ten on the spot.
"For that sum I'm sure you won't mind throwing
in the saucer," said theconnoisseur. "The kitten seems
so happy drinking from it."
"Nothing doing," said the proprietor
firmly. "That's my lucky saucer. Fromthat saucer, so far
this week I've sold 34 cats."
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
A man comes to a doctor and, twitching his fingers
and stuttering, finally manages to say, "Doctor, I have a
sexual performance problem. Can you helpme?"
"Oh, that's not a problem for us men anymore!"
announces a proud physician,"They just came out with this
new wonder drug, Viagra, that does the trick!You take some pills,
and your problems are history
"So the doctor gives the man a prescription and sends him
on his merry way.
A couple of months later, the doctor runs into
his patient on the street."Doctor, Doctor!" exclaims
the man excitedly, "I've got to thank you! Thisdrug is a
miracle! It's wonderful!
"Well, I'm glad to hear that" says
the pleased physician, "What does yourwife think about it?"
"Wife?" asks the man, "I haven't been home yet."
|
