| FUNNY
MOCHI
 |
JOKES |
Jokes 4
A pregnant woman from Washington, D.C. gets in a car accident
and falls into a deep coma. Asleep for nearly 6 months, when she
wakes up she sees that she is no longer pregnant and frantically
asks the doctor about her baby.
The doctor replies, "Ma'am you had twins! a boy and a girl. Your
brother from Maryland came in and named them."
The woman thinks to herself, "No! Not my brother... he's an idiot!"
Bracing for the worst, she asks the doctor, "Well, what's the
girl's name?"
"Denise."
"Wow, that's not a bad name, I like it! What's the boy's name?"
"Denephew. "
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A lawyer dies in a car accident on his 40th birthday and finds
himself at the Pearly Gates. A brass band is playing, the Angels
are singing a beautiful hymn, there is a huge crowd cheering and
shouting his name and absolutely everyone wants to shake his hand.
Just when he thinks things can't possibly get any better, Saint
Peter himself runs over, apologizes for not greeting him personally
at the pearly gates, shakes his hand and says 'Congratulations
son, we've been waiting a long time for you!
Totally confused and a little embarrassed, the attorney sheepishly
looks at Saint Peter and says 'Saint Peter, I tried to lead a
God fearing life, I loved my family, I tried to obey the 10 Commandments,
but congratulations for what? I honestly don't remember doing
anything really special when I was alive.'
'Congratulations for what?' says Saint Peter, totally amazed
at the man's modesty. 'We're celebrating the fact that you lived
to be 160 years old! God himself wants to see you!' The lawyer
is awestruck and can only look at Saint Peter with his mouth agape.
When he regains his power of speech, he looks up at Saint Peter
and says 'Saint Peter, I lived my life in the eternal hope that
when I died I would be judged by God and be found to be worthy,
but I only lived to be forty.'
'That's simply impossible son,' says Saint Peter. 'We've added
up your time sheets.'
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A hillbilly wife told me the other day her definition of retirement:
"Twice as much husband on half as much pay."
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A loaded mini van pulled in to the only remaining campsite. Four
children leaped from the vehicle and began feverishly unloading
gear and setting up the tent. The boys rushed to gather firewood,
while the girls and their mother set up the camp stove and cooking
utensils. A nearby camper marveled to the youngsters' father,
"That, sir, is some display of teamwork."
The father replied, "I have a system; no one goes to the bathroom
until the camp is set up."
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