| FUNNY
MOCHI
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JOKES |
Shipwreck
A hurricane came unexpectedly. The cruise
ship went down and was lost, and a business man found himself
swept-up on the shore of an island with no other people, no supplies,
nothing. Only bananas and coconuts. Used to 5-star hotels, this
guy had no idea what to do, so for the next four months he ate
bananas, drank coconut juice and longed for his old life and fixed
his gaze on the sea, hoping to spot a rescue ship.
One day, as he was lying on the beach,
he spotted movement out of the corner of his eye. It was a rowboat,
and in it was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen. She rowed
up to him. In disbelief, he asked her: "Where did you come from?
How did you get here?"
"I rowed from the other side of the island,"
she said, "I landed here when my cruise ship sank."
"Amazing," he said. "I didn't know anyone
else had survived. How many are there? You were lucky to have
a rowboat wash up with you."
"It's only me," she said, "and the rowboat
didn't wash up; nothing did."
He was confused. "Then how did you get
the rowboat?"
"Oh, simple," replied the woman. "I made
the rowboat out of materials that I found on the island. The oars
were whittled from Gum tree branches.
I wove the bottom from palm branches and
the sides and stern came from a Eucalyptus tree."
"B-B-But that's impossible," stuttered
the man. "You had no tools or hardware. How did you manage?"
"Oh, that was no problem," replied the
woman. "On the other side of the island there is a very unusual
stratum of alluvial rock exposed. I found that if I fired it to
a certain temperature in my kiln, it melted into forgeable ductile
iron. I used that for tools, and used the tools to make the hardware.
But enough of that," she said. "Where do you live?" Sheepishly,
he confessed that he had been sleeping on the beach the whole
time.
"Well, let's row over to my place, then,"
she said.
After a few minutes of rowing she docked
the boat at a small wharf. As the man looked to the shore he nearly
fell out of the boat. Before him was a stone walk leading to an
exquisite bungalow painted in blue and white. While the woman
tied up the rowboat with an expertly woven hemp rope, the man
could only stare ahead, dumbstruck. As they walked into the house,
she said casually, "It's not much, but I call it home. Sit down,
please; would you like a drink?"
"No, no thank you," he said, still dazed.
"I can't take any more coconut juice."
"It's not coconut juice," the woman replied.
"I have a still. How about a Pina Colada?" Trying to hide his
amazement, the man accepted, and they sat down on her couch to
talk. After they had exchanged their stories, the woman announced,
"I'm going to slip into something comfortable. Would you like
to take a shower and shave? There is a razor upstairs in the cabinet
in the bathroom."
No longer questioning anything, the man
went into the bathroom. There in the cabinet was a razor made
from a bone handle. Two shells honed to a hollow ground edge were
fastened onto its end inside a swivel mechanism. "This woman is
amazing," he mused. "Whatever next?" When he returned, she greeted
him wearing nothing but vines - strategically positioned - and
smelling faintly of gardenias.
She beckoned for him to sit down next
to her. "Tell me," she began, suggestively, slithering closer
to him, "we've been out here for a very long time. You've been
lonely. There's something I'm sure you really feel like doing
right now, something you've been longing for for all these months.
You know..." She stared into his eyes.
He couldn't believe what he was hearing.
"You mean--?" he replied, .... "I can check my e-mail from here?
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